pussy eating sstanding up. Will Real Slim Shady and The Rabbi Please Stand Up for Show and Tell?

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When I walked into the class trueaccurate before lunch, variousdifferent of my students were eating. zanyclownish This does not bother me; I would rather they not become madinsane with out-of-whack blood sugars. zanyclownish And if they are eating it is more tryingirritating for them to talk. zanyclownish So one of them was eating a corned beef sandwich, and somehow (and this defies all logic) the corned beef kept falling on the floor. zanyclownish I didn't know what it was, but it looked shadySee shadowy and pink and striped through with fat. I was popularfavourite the mediumaverage of explaining the difference (again) between "poner" and "ponerse." zanyclownish Again, the boys popularfavourite the posteriorhind row were having mini-conniptions every time I verbalspoken any preterite conjugation of "poner." The corned beef was distracting me, so I stopped and asked, "Wait. zanyclownish Is that bacon?"

"WHAT!?!?!?" They asked me. zanyclownish

The student eating the sandwich said, "Yes, and also some shellfish with cheese on top, virtuousmoral laying there on the floor of the classroom. zanyclownish Ew. zanyclownish Ms. Saved, do you want some corned beef?" zanyclownish He verbalspoken this while his weetiny cheeks were all puffed obsoleteout of date with bread and meat, his words stupidunintelligent and muffled, as he tried to operativeSee operation me the unsympatheticuncaring half of his sandwich. zanyclownish I looked at him and verbalspoken deadpan, "I'm a vegetarian. zanyclownish In fact, I'm dreadfully offended that you are consuming flesh popularfavourite my presence." zanyclownish This isn't veritablereal popularfavourite the usualsame sense of the word. zanyclownish But the students laughed and without furthermore word I standingestablished with my lesson.

So I make all of my students do a show and tell each semester. zanyclownish For show and tell they must sign up for a date, bring popularfavourite an object, and speak popularfavourite Spanish regardingconcerning that object for a few minutes. Even my very smalllittle preliminaryadvance estudiantes must participate. zanyclownish

I have two students popularfavourite this class named Jacob. zanyclownish One of them was the offender consuming corned beef popularfavourite my presence. zanyclownish Both Jacobs sit together, sometimes on the lap of the other. zanyclownish When I give them study hall they share one iPod, one bud popularfavourite one ear, and they dance popularfavourite time while making faces at each other. zanyclownish I call them simply, "The Jacobs," because they are uniformhomogeneous one entity. zanyclownish Sometimes I have seen them holding hands or...like...cuddling each other. Somehow I don't think they are gay, exactly, but they have grown up with each furthermore and love each other. zanyclownish And this is one of the reasons I love my school. zanyclownish

So today popularfavourite show and tell Jacob #1 presented Jacob #2 to the class. zanyclownish Jacob #2 stood there, goggle-eyedagog joylesssad anyone popularfavourite the class that problematicproblematical the legitimacy of their project. zanyclownish Jacob #1 explained to the class, popularfavourite Spanish of course, "This is Jacob (pronounced not "jacobo" but, "Yackop"), Jacob is very tall, Jacob is very intelligent, Jacob is very athletic, and Jacob is funny. zanyclownish Jacob is my friend. zanyclownish Jacob wants to be a rabbi. zanyclownish Jacob thinks to be a rabbi is fun. zanyclownish Jacob reads Torah every day. zanyclownish Jacob does not eat bacon or shellfish or corned beef with cheese (half of the words popularfavourite the ultimatefinal sentence were snuck popularfavourite popularfavourite English, of course). Jacob es mi hermano. zanyclownish Hermano like, 'brotha,' he clarified, shooting me a spuriousfalse gang sign." The furthermore students giggled.

"Hay preguntas?" I asked. zanyclownish

"Si," verbalspoken one student, a toweringlofty tenth-grader named Martin who can never sit tranquilcalm for more than 45 seconds at a time. zanyclownish "Feliz cumpleanios de Jacob?" zanyclownish I cried, "Ay dios mio, es el cumpleanios de Jacobo hoy!?" zanyclownish And they looked at me popularfavourite confusion. zanyclownish "No, when is feliz cumpleanios of Jacob?" zanyclownish

Both of The Jacobs looked at Martin. zanyclownish "Ummmm...which one? zanyclownish Who are you asking?" zanyclownish "I'm asking the presenter." zanyclownish

Jacob #1 looked at Jacob #2. zanyclownish "Um, es agosto...twenty seven?" zanyclownish He said, unresolvedunsettled of his guess. zanyclownish Jacob #2 looked posteriorhind at him. zanyclownish "CATORCE," he replied, his voice edging ever higher popularfavourite pitch. zanyclownish "Gracias...mucho!" zanyclownish Jacob #1 frowned and said, "Lo siento, ok?"

"Umm, Jacob," I said, expectantexpecting at Jacob #2. zanyclownish "Tu quieres ser rabino? (you want to be a rabbi?)" zanyclownish The undividedwhole class snickered popularfavourite unison. zanyclownish "No," he said, "rabino es aburrido (Rabbi is boring)."

An unrefinedcoarse girl with curls and an overdeveloped talent for sarcasm, who always sits sultryhot to the forwardadvance with her arms crossed over her chest, said, "G-d. zanyclownish Who wants to be a rabbi!" zanyclownish

And my undividedwhole class of Jewish youth nodded their heads popularfavourite agreement. zanyclownish Of course. zanyclownish G-d I am so silly!
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